Wednesday, 22 March 2017

IF ONLY1


She sang beautifully well.
I am sure the Angels peeped at her frequently when her voice rings out!

I also stared in admiration.
Saying to myself ……..
"Only if I have a voice like this,
I will worship you more Lord"

He was absolutely a guru on the drums.
I had no music talent in me.

"Father, only if you will give such talent,
I will make you proud" I thought to myself.

The little child's painting held such vivid colors and details.
I love paintings and drawings!
However the best I can conjure are 'stick drawings'

I was almost filled with envy, but I couldn’t because
I was conscious of been Christian.

"If only I had a gift just like this,
I would be an international artist!
Showcasing Christ to the world through my drawings"

A beautiful writer and editor she is.
She had the patience of the godly,
Tenderly crossing out wrong letters and inputting the right words.

I admire her,
Once again, I told the Lord
"Only if I had a gift like hers,
My writings will be much better"!

They were the best dancing group in town.
Perfecting the Michael Jackson moonwalk with style,
Leaving mouths agape with their creative skills.
However, the best I can do is shake my body left to right.

I wonder most times what gift I have,
Admiring every other person but myself.

Applauding those I felt had talents.
While I sulked in the corner;
Thinking the master hasn’t been good to me

An ungrateful child I am.
For I am the modern day servant who had one talent;
And never made use of it.
Not even aware of what I carry

But that really has to change.
For the master will  come  soon,
And He will ask me for my talent

To avoid the same fate as my biblical role model,
I have decided to look inwards.

To stop wishing for what I don’t have.
To stop wishing for what I didn’t develop.
Like the prodigal, I am back to the Father
To use wisely the gifts He has given me.

I invite you to journey with me;
As I recognize and make use of the gifts invested in me.

Come let’s make ‘THE MASTER’ proud

 


Sunday, 12 March 2017

Bla Bla Bla!

Good day.
Let me tell you about my mind;
It is analytical in nature,
It appears it has a “mind” of its own”
Thinking its thoughts which I never sent it.
Constantly thinking of what needed to be “thought” of,
Thus it is attentive to very minute details.

It sees a bad situation,
And goes on a spree of thinking.

What made this situation go from bad to good?
Could it have been avoided?

Afterwards, it analysis how the situation can become better,
Then it virtually pushes me to contribute my own quota 
.
“My mind also wonders what others are wondering”;
It wishes it has the power to read thoughts ,

Thank God it doesn’t
For none will  be saved from its scrutinizing research

Yet it hears vile words,
Condemns it at first,
And then goes ahead to admire the rhymes in the vile words.

It says to me,
"Who doesn’t love rhymes?"
Thereafter, it firmly holds onto the rhymes
A job, I totally didn’t send it to do.

And yet again!
It admires a lady well dressed, 
Yet at times, it goes too far.
Wanting the woman  attitude to  become mine
"That how the big girl’s roll" it says. 

It sees a friend fall down.
It bursts out in uncontrollable laughter;
Before letting out a helping hand.
Yet it gets angry when the same act is done to it.

My mind can be likened to a library;
Constantly sectioning all it knows,
Both the pleasant and unpleasant,

Then it brings out a record book I never knew existed.
Using yhe information at times without my knowledge.

My beautiful mind
Loves fiercely!
I wonder at times where it gets such strength from.
For I doubt if I have the ability to love that intensely

My mind is a lot of things.
I might tell you more about it later.
And yet that depends on if it wants me to do the telling

And today, it asks me if you know what your own mind is capable of?

Friday, 24 February 2017

NORMAL?

I have a plan which I share when asked what my goal in life is.
You see, I come from a society where you are expected to have a goal.

The goal certainly has its rudiments.
It typically contains;
Making a lot of money;
Working as a banker;
Becoming a 'big madam'
Getting married and having 'fine fine children'

Therefore to avoid been tagged as a loser,
I answer with the unarticulated laid down pattern, which my society demands from me.
Thus, I had to have a plan that portrays me like the society wants.

I have different versions of the 'plan'
Each plan depending on who  enquires.
To the elders I reply ------ "To further my education";
To the white collar folks -------"I am working to become administrative head"
To the entrepreneurs ----------- "Being a business woman is my goal"
And on goes endless responses.

To avoid being tagged a liar,
I ensure I remember to tell them the exact same thing I told them when they enquire again..
However, deep down within me,
 I just want a trillion things that might not make sense to anyone.
Thus, I decide to keep my deepest desires to myself.

How do I tell the society
That I am beyond portfolios?
How do I explain that I am one of a kind?
How do I tell them that the unveiling is gradual?
How do I let them understand that I am much more than who they desire me to become?
How do I explain that my purpose cannot be achieved within a few number of years?
It also does not have the advantage of been a 'big madam'.

Some may call it "misplaced priorities".
Others term may term me a 'woman with no visible goals'.

How do I tell the world that I want to be a lady
Who doesn’t follow the rules?

How do I get my society to understand?
That life is my teacher.
That been a 'big madam' is not my ultimate priority.
That making money is not what life is all about.
That there are billions of 'fine fine' babies with no one to care for them.
Husbands and wives, who hates each other,
And brothers who kill themselves over the littlest things.

How do I let them know that my goal is to be joyful?
That my mandate is to assist people to become better versions of themselves, a step at a time.
That my dreams are not related to their desires
That, although I don’t have it all figured out,
One day, I will.

Please do not get me wrong.
Having a portfolio is great.
I respect people who are doing well in their various fields.
I just want my society know that I am not those people!
That I am a woman who is not 'NORMAL'

Dedicated to everyone who desires more!!

Wednesday, 15 February 2017

DESIRES

Finally she had a man who loved her for who she was,
For she had asked the Holy ghost to send her a man after His heart!
Outwardly all seem to be fine
But her soul had a ranging number of uncertainties.

For to her she lacked the gift of discernment,
She however had the biblical injunction to be gentle like a dove and wise as a serpent
Thus he became a book she studied,
One cannot be too careful
She further declared to herself

She was convinced that Saint Paul through the inspiration of the Holyghost, had written the essence of casting down imaginations bearing in mind she will exist one day,
For her imagination had built up numerous things that needed to be cast down.
Like a mathematics teacher
She scrutinized all his actions
For the step by step mechanisms was as important as the answer itself,
Increasingly picking out the similarities with the men she had read about,
In her record book his actions is likened to the unpleasant stories she has heard!
The unpleasantness of life had left her less trusting .

For it is clearly written in the scripture,
That one needed to be careful of wolves in sheep clothing
She is certainly watching and praying
Once beaten twice shy the saying goes
She won’t be caught unawares this time.

A man is meant to love a woman,
Even the bible agrees with me
Yet he doesn’t call as frequently as she wants
Neither does he send her sweet good morning messages regularly
Nor declare to the world that he loves her
For she had read somewhere that men Protects, Provides, give nick names and announces women they love
She wondered why he was different

The truth be expressed!
She knew he loved her, not the way she wanted
He protected her, neither did she feel  it was  adequate enough
He gave to her when she lacked, but then he doesn’t surprise her with gifts
Not forgetting he didn’t have any of her pictures on his social media accounts,
He just wasn’t the 21st century lover.

Her active imagination mixed with
Self-taught lessons further aggravated her doubts for him,
Love doesn’t consider itself alone, she argued
Daughter he had a hectic day at work yesterday, the Holyghost prompted
Father we are all busy, there should be a place of sacrifice
Didn’t Jesus himself sacrifice when it was not convenient?
Why must his own be different
But Jesus himself took time to rest came the gentle opinion of the Holyghost

Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth Speaketh
These thoughts led to an increase in nagging and deep frustration
For every of his actions came with varieties of complains
Deep within she prayed she would stop
For she knew she was just been paranoid

Although he wasn’t perfect he tried his best 
She forgets too soon that we are all a work in progress
Overlooking also that the makeup in a man and woman  differs.
Although he wasn’t a 21st century lover,
He loved her as Christ instructed
He wasn’t just a social media enthusiastic like she was,
The fact remained he genuinely loved her.

Uncertain amid giving up and trying harder
For she knew her thoughts exalted itself above the knowledge of GOD 
Finally she turned to her Saviour for help
The Holspirit shared with her the fruit of patience and Long suffering
This led her down the pathway of understanding
For knowledge without understanding was noting

And finally she saw him with clearer eyes
With a eyes of a Christian
The nagging subsided,
She appreciated him more for who he was
Now embracing his strength,
She gently prayed about his weakness.

A part of her still  wishes he is all she wants him to be
Nevertheless they both walk together  towards perfection
She has finally find peace within herself,
Embracing the new found fruits of patience and long suffering
Learning the importance of understanding,
She smiled as she finally laid all her disturbing thoughts to rest.


Tuesday, 7 February 2017

A WOMAN WITH GOALS!

Hello! let me tell you my story;

Attending a wedding reception in an higher institution as a teenager invigorated  my hunger to become a university graduate at all cost.
I had a list of things I wanted to achieve before I graduated,
You can address me as Beauty and brains!

Therefore It wasn’t a surprise when I passed my senior school leaving examinations with flying colors,
To a reputable Higher Institution I went .
I am both a Fashionista and Efiwe(Brilliant) !
How I manage to combine the two still remain a mystery to all,
I had goals ;making a 1st class and flexing at the same time,
My innate woman's ability to effectively multi-task was put in good use
Believe me honestly I was at the top of my game
Every girl envied me.......... 

Graduating from a University with good grades no be joke, especially for an engineering student like myself,
So I never took my losing weight as a big deal, since it helped achieve a flat stomach with no exercise !
I was always feeling fatigued but I brushed it aside too, who wouldn't?  struggling between personal reading, excess assignment, group projects and going to parties.

My daily diet was any fast food and plenty soft and energy drinks, so when I saw a little bit of blood in my stool I just assumed I had to reduce my sugar intake. 

 I slept barely four hours in a day 
1st class is my goal and while am at it, flexing I must,
The university and I have to pass through each other.

I noticed my menstrual cycle went on longer than usual(With Menstrual Pains) and some changes in my virgina  discharge ,
I took some drugs for virginal infection which caused some slight changes,
A visit to the hospital for proper checkup was therefore postponed!

As a student aiming for first class, I had all types of jacking (Reading)technique ,night classes was one of them ,
And mosquito bites was the price to pay for it while fever is the results!
Examination was around the corner

I still felt I was at the top of my game not until
I woke up with piercing pains in my lower belly
I was literally screaming when I woke up, all Ladylike composure thrown to the wind!
It was during my screaming escapade I noticed I was in the hospital,
My screams jolted mum as she laid her face on dad chest
See daddy and mummy playing love while I felt so much pain 

I screamed the more as dad ran to get the doctor while mum tried calming me down like she did to her patients, but looking into her eyes I knew all was not well, for her eyes were red!

The nurse must have added sleeping substance to the injection for I was soon asleep starting at the gloomy face of my loving parents……………………………………….
Whatever drug I was given did its own bit for the pains subsided.

I wondered why I was still in the hospital, ordinary exam stress and malaria  
My parents can fear fear  Sha, mum should know better na, even if I needed  bed rest i could definitely get the rest at home 

At least that was what I thought.......... 

I sensed something wasn’t well when the doctor started clerking me
He asked questions about
- My eating habit
- Alcohol intake 
-Sleeping habit 
-Menstrual Cycle
-Fatigue level
-Virginal discharge
and on and on the questions went .................................

 All the questions centered on all the changes  in my body I have ignored...................

 

Pap test was conducted and the sad news was broken to me as Mum and Dad held my hands

You have Cervical cancer............. ehen! 
Caaaaannnn what I exclaimed? 

It was like a nightmare for me!

The Doctor went on and on..........

On the effect of  lifestyle choices on one's  health

The need for proper medical check up

The need for Radiation therapy with chemotherapy!

It was a dream I wanted to wake up from,

The doctor said I will be fine,

Here I am writing to you today, that educational and social goals are good but like the saying goes health is wealth

Please eat healthy, have enough rest, do away with alcohol and tobacco,  avoid self-medication and go for proper hospital examination

I am still going to achieve all my goals but this time with a mindset that  GOALS CAN ONLY BE ACHIEVED WHEN THERE IS GOOD HEALTH .

N. B :Cancer is real, please go for medical examination.
 

Wednesday, 1 February 2017

MY LIFE IN A WEEK!!!


Pain is real!
This is what I feel
Sunday is here again,
I wore the same outfit to church weekly
That’s the only reasonable outfit I have,
Something horrible happened ………………
It tore while I shouted hallelujah excitedly!
That is the least embarrassing moment of my life
For I had, had worst days.
Monday morning
It’s the usual hustling and bustling in Lagos,
Today I found a new strategy to beg
I used the pastor sermon as a guideline
It went something like:
Isaac sowed and reaped in a land of famine
As you give to me God will increase you greatly
It worked properly
At least I had enough to eat today.
Afternoons are my break period, this Tuesday is no exception
I came down with a cold 
Shivering in the hot sun is no joke!
The harsh harmatern cold is worst at night,
Staying under the bridge with no walls on the island didn’t help issues either
I just need a warm place to stay!!
Its Wednesday morning and nothing seems better
I am terribly angry today!!!!
I am homeless with no cloth to wear or food to eat
Holding so much resentment to the world because none seems to care,
Even as I write can see a woman pull her children away from me
Who blames her? I will pull my children away from someone like me!
I am tattered, dirty and angry looking
Another Thursday is here
Everyone calls me mad  now,
Who can fault them?
Today the cold became unbearable
So I had to feign madness ,and pursue people .
The way the lady ran and dropped her bag made me laugh the more, people dey fear sha!
At least I can get to buy some drugs and food
The food vendor wont sell  food for me without money
That one no dey fear me at all, smhh
Don’t stare at me,  
If you were in my shoes will you act differently?
Fridays are  the grooving day on the island
To me it is the worst of all the days
You saw more people smiling
And non giving
A lot of vigils and clubbing
Either ways ,money is been spent
And non bothered about a wretch like me .
Saturdays are like Christmas to me
It’s the period where almost every one is willing to share
At least the left overs from party  jollof rice
Some call me lazy but am not
No employer will want anyone with a stinking breath
My only reasonable attire is my Sunday wear that is already torn
I am more concerned about what to eat than how I look,
If only I could get some clothes then at least I will work as a laborer
But the cloth sef no dey
 
Yours in need, 
The homeless man on the street.
N. B :I am just a mouth piece

Friday, 20 January 2017

MOTHER'S GIFT;A PEEP INTO A CHILD MIND

It was dinner time!
Every one had a smiling face
As usual the food was delicious
Mum is like the best cook ever

Aunt Tina came to spend the weekend at our place
She is Mummy only sister 
She is so beautiful and cheerful
I want to be like her when I grow up, 
She is like the best doctor ever 
She gives Mummy medication so she can feel better
Mum always told me to be Ladylike just like Aunt Tina
  

Mummy always has a cold
She keeps sniffing all the time  dinner today was no exception
Her handkerchief was very wet
Her eyes were also red
The cold must really be much I thought to myself
I do not like it when Mum is sick 


Daddy had a frown on his face
From what? 
I can never tell
And bruises on his knuckles
I hope he is not also sick
Thank God Aunt Tina is here
To also make  Daddy feel better
I will marry someone like Daddy when I grow up
As handsome and fair in complexion like him
And be as Lucky like Mummy

I always insist Aunt Tina share my room with me 
After dinner I heard her tell Mummy she had some broken ribs and has miscarried once again
I never knew Mummy had a baby in her belly
She whispered get a divorce and all this will stop
Mummy  replied I cant afford to do that 
No one knew I was listening for they assumed I was asleep


The next morning  I pondered about the meaning of Divorce
I couldn't ask Mummy 
I dreaded Mummy punishment  
I concluded Divorce is a drug that will
-Clear Mummy's  bloody eyes and,ever running nose
-Make Daddy smile again
-Bring the Baby back to Mummy belly
-Heal Mummy broken Ribs  and
-Clear Daddy's red knuckles 


I wont ask Mummy for Ice cream and Chocolates  again
She once said I will finish her money one day
So she can save enough money 
And finally afford to buy the drug divorce to make herself and Daddy healthy 

I smiled broadly that will be my gift to Mummy .......................
She will be so proud of me 
I ran off to share my Idea with Aunt Tina 

NOTE;CHILDREN ARE SENSITIVE TO THEIR ENVIRONMENT,WE SHOULD BE CAREFUL FOR OUR ACTIONS AFFECTS THEM