DESIRES

Finally she had a man who loved her for who she was,
For she had asked the Holy ghost to send her a man after His heart!
Outwardly all seem to be fine
But her soul had a ranging number of uncertainties.

For to her she lacked the gift of discernment,
She however had the biblical injunction to be gentle like a dove and wise as a serpent
Thus he became a book she studied,
One cannot be too careful
She further declared to herself

She was convinced that Saint Paul through the inspiration of the Holyghost, had written the essence of casting down imaginations bearing in mind she will exist one day,
For her imagination had built up numerous things that needed to be cast down.
Like a mathematics teacher
She scrutinized all his actions
For the step by step mechanisms was as important as the answer itself,
Increasingly picking out the similarities with the men she had read about,
In her record book his actions is likened to the unpleasant stories she has heard!

The unpleasantness of life had left her less trusting .

For it is clearly written in the scripture,
That one needed to be careful of wolves in sheep clothing
She is certainly watching and praying
Once beaten twice shy the saying goes
She won’t be caught unawares this time.

A man is meant to love a woman,

Even the bible agrees with me
Yet he doesn’t call as frequently as she wants
Neither does he send her sweet good morning messages regularly
Nor declare to the world that he loves her
For she had read somewhere that men Protects, Provides, give nick names and announces women they love
She wondered why he was different

The truth be expressed!
She knew he loved her, not the way she wanted
He protected her, neither did she feel  it was  adequate enough
He gave to her when she lacked, but then he doesn’t surprise her with gifts
Not forgetting he didn’t have any of her pictures on his social media accounts,
He just wasn’t the 21st century lover.

Her active imagination mixed with
Self-taught lessons further aggravated her doubts for him,
Love doesn’t consider itself alone, she argued
Daughter he had a hectic day at work yesterday, the Holyghost prompted
Father we are all busy, there should be a place of sacrifice
Didn’t Jesus himself sacrifice when it was not convenient?
Why must his own be different
But Jesus himself took time to rest came the gentle opinion of the Holyghost

Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth Speaketh
These thoughts led to an increase in nagging and deep frustration
For every of his actions came with varieties of complains
Deep within she prayed she would stop
For she knew she was just been paranoid

Although he wasn’t perfect he tried his best 
She forgets too soon that we are all a work in progress
Overlooking also that the makeup in a man and woman  differs.

Although he wasn’t a 21st century lover,
He loved her as Christ instructed
He wasn’t just a social media enthusiastic like she was,
The fact remained he genuinely loved her.

Uncertain amid giving up and trying harder
For she knew her thoughts exalted itself above the knowledge of GOD 
Finally she turned to her Saviour for help
The Holspirit shared with her the fruit of patience and Long suffering

This led her down the pathway of understanding
For knowledge without understanding was noting

And finally she saw him with clearer eyes
With a eyes of a Christian
The nagging subsided,
She appreciated him more for who he was
Now embracing his strength,
She gently prayed about his weakness.

A part of her still  wishes he is all she wants him to be
Nevertheless they both walk together  towards perfection
She has finally find peace within herself,
Embracing the new found fruits of patience and long suffering
Learning the importance of understanding,
She smiled as she finally laid all her disturbing thoughts to rest.